If you're not familiar with this band (hey, neither was I at the time) go ahead and do a quick YouTube search on them. Actually, let me do you the favor:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cNNxx6HzURY
I know, right?!?
Wait...just to make sure we're both on the same page here, I'd like to emphatically express, so we're clear, that this band fucking sucks. And here I'm slowly becoming more aware not only of the band, but of their popularity and this infuriates me.
After watching the above YouTube clip of their song "The Sweat Descends", I began to feel a very familiar feeling, one that I usually feel whenever I hear a band that, more or less, is total shit. Usually these bands have a certain, unmistakable "shit sound" that they all share in common; a seeming lack of talent and musical ability, songs without structure or at the least, a catchy melody, and in Les Savy Fav's case, a horrible fucking hipster front man.
The thing that annoys me the most is that I've personally written "The Sweat Descends". Well, not that EXACT song, but one very much like it. See, whenever I'm playing in a band and we're practicing, it's common place to just start making shit up between songs. The drummer just starts playing some silly beat and the guitars begin playing some delayed spastic noise and you do this for a minute or so before stopping and laughing at how incredibly stupid that just sounded. "Okay, back to the real music" you'd say.
But what I've realized is that people are mostly interested in that "incredibly stupid" stuff we just played. People would rather hear the jerk-off spaz stuff we play in between our REAL songs than our actual REAL songs. And the jerk-off spaz stuff sounds almost exactly like "The Sweat Descends".
My mind is blown.
So, basically, I've been trying WAY too hard making, in my opinion, very good, serious music. The masses don't want this. They want something they can shake their neon green fanny packs to while their whippit high from a Cool Whip can wears off. Fuck it, I wouldn't make it in that crowd anyway. To start, I don't live in Brooklyn, plus I like a challenge, it would be way too easy to gain 50 lbs, go bald, keep my beard and wear ONLY bright red shorts and a necktie in public.
Which leads me to my next point which has almost nothing to do with the previous section. The band KISS.
I remember being a kid and my mom telling me not to listen to certain types of music, certain types that she, herself actually listened to as a teenager. Alice Cooper, Black Sabbath and of course, KISS. KISS, my mother said, was an evil band who played evil music. And I believed her. I mean, fuck, look at Gene Simmons:
Seriously! This guy looks like he'd eat your face off while fucking you in the ass. Probably with either one of those spikes or that bass guitar. Maybe both. I mean, shit, he's a fucking demon. At that young age, KISS was a band that was incredibly foreign to me and therefore scary. I mean, I almost didn't want to listen to their music because I assumed I'd either shit my pants or the floor will open and Satan himself will pull me under. I thought all these things for quite a long time.
Until I actually heard their music.
"IIIII, wanna rock and roll all niiiiight, and party every day!"
WHAT THE FUCK? Who is this? What? KISS? That satanic, evil band that my mother told me not to listen to? This is what they sound like??? Wait, this is what their drummer looks like?
A FUCKING CAT?!?!?!?
Your bass guitarist dresses up like a demon and you choose a CAT. Dear God this is unbelievable. What a horrible disappointment. The most famous acronym for KISS was "Knights In Satan's Service". Well, if you think Satan listens to this shit, you're an idiot.
To finish, I hate a lot of music.
No comments:
Post a Comment